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Chariot February 2008 - Norm Wakefield  

The Curse of the Standard Bearers - Part 4

In this Chariot of Fire:

� What is the curse of the Standard Bearers?
� What is the pathway to freedom?
� Who is Lord of your life?
� What is the standard of standards?
� Christ died and lives to set people free.
� Is the Holy Spirit Lord in parent and young adult relationships?
� Repentance leads to restoration.
� What a difference humility and love make!

    What is the curse of the standard bearers? The curse is the destruction of relationship with God and others resulting from the deception that love for God and others is measured by adherence to standards on outward issues of life. In some cases, however, the standards are wise. But many, if not most of the standards the Standard Bearers hold, are extreme interpretations of scripture. Some examples might be:

�         Women should only wear long dresses/skirts.
�         Bright and stylish clothing on women is a sign of worldliness and rebellion.
�         The only acceptable version of the Bible is the KJV.
�         Only hymns from the Psalms should be considered godly music.
�         Educating your children in any public system is evil or at least a sign of worldliness.
�         Homeschooling your children is a rejection of the Great Commission.
�         Having a house mortgage, short-term loan, or using credit cards reveals a lack of trust in God and should never be considered.
�         Anyone who dates, kisses, or holds hands before marriage should be looked down upon.

    None of the standards above are explicitly stated biblical standards; they are men's interpretations of various scriptures. There are men and women who deeply love Jesus and walk according to the Holy Spirit who don't agree that these are timeless biblical standards. The central point of this series of articles is this: even if they were biblical standards, measuring spiritual life and determining one's circle of fellowship based on appearance and adherence to outward standards isn't God's measurement of spiritual life or maturity. Jesus was at war with those who measured spirituality by appearances and conformity to a set of standards on issues such as the ones above.

Pathway to Freedom

    The True Image Bearer's primary motivation is to glorify God by expressing the love of Jesus Christ in all of his or her relationships. A True Image Bearer, who knows Jesus intimately and has experienced the freedom of living by the Spirit, has repented of living for the approval of man and living by religious principles and standards. Having once been under the bondage of fear that comes from trying to please God, a spouse, parent, or peer by keeping certain standards, they jealously guard the lordship of the Holy Spirit. They have learned that following Him is the ultimate expression of their love both for God and others. Spirit-led living is the path to freedom. It's true for you, and it's also true for others.

Who is Lord?

    The Lord Jesus and the Apostle Paul made a distinction between people who identify themselves primarily with religious standards and those who live in relationship with the Lord. Hear Jesus' words. "You search the scriptures because you think that in them you have eternal life; it is these that testify about Me; and you are unwilling to come to Me so that you may have life" (John 5:39-40). It is possible for someone to be a Bible scholar, have deduced the principles and standards that are pleasing to God, and be adhering to those standards religiously without Spirit-born life. This brings no glory to God. The Standard Bearer wonders what people will think or do or how he can advance his reputation or personal agenda with God and man. In contrast to this, the True Image Bearer's first thought is, "Lord, how can I love in this situation or relationship?"

    The Apostle Paul communicated the same truth to the Corinthians when he wrote, "Not that we are adequate in ourselves to consider anything as coming from ourselves, but our adequacy is from God, who also made us adequate as servants of a new covenant, not of the letter but of the Spirit; for the letter kills, but the Spirit gives life" (2 Corinthians 3:6). Anyone who has experienced the life of Jesus Christ through the Holy Spirit knows the freedom of which Paul wrote in verses 17-18. "Now the Lord is the Spirit, and where the Spirit is Lord, there is liberty. But we all, with unveiled face, beholding as in a mirror the glory of the Lord, are being transformed into the same image from glory to glory, just as from the Lord, the Spirit." Spiritual life and maturity flow from an inward relationship with the Holy Spirit.

The Standard of Standards

    If there is a primary issue or standard of life, this is it! Who is Lord of your life? The idea communicated by Paul in the third chapter of 2nd Corinthians is that only the ministry of the Holy Spirit in our lives can produce freedom in the individual and glory to God. When I know the Holy Spirit is guiding me, I am free. Of course, His guidance will be through the inerrant Word of God, but He must also guide us in the interpretation and application of it. When love for God and others is the prevailing consideration, then I know the Holy Spirit is guiding me. That's how the Holy Spirit expresses the life of Jesus Christ.

    Love for others then, is to lead them to follow the Holy Spirit so Jesus' life can be expressed through them. The last thing I want is for others to do something because I say so or because they think they would gain my approval. I would rather they express their disagreement with me than conform just to be accepted by others or me. In fact, their difference with me gives me an opportunity to show that I love them more than I love feeling good about myself that they would agree with me.

Christ died and lives to set people free

    "It was for freedom that Christ set us free; therefore keep standing firm and do not be subject again to a yoke of slavery" (Galatians 5:1). Although the context of this refers to the bondage of circumcision, the bigger picture was the pressure being exerted by some that conformity to the Law was evidence of true Christian spirituality. If the decisions of your life are determined by whether or not you are accepted and approved by men, then you have subjected yourself to a yoke of slavery. You have become enslaved to the Standard Bearers, to the one whose praise and acceptance you must have or whose bad opinion and rejection you fear.

    This bondage takes another form in the lives of the Standard Bearers. They are also slaves of the ones they seek to control (they think "bless"). They promote living by standards and principles to "bless" others with the benefits of such self-control. However, the evidence of the bondage is that they are more concerned about people submitting to their standards in life than they are about those people living under the lordship of the Holy Spirit. They give no room for the Holy Spirit to lead people in a different way. They don't trust that the Holy Spirit may be accomplishing a different work or may have a different purpose for others than for themselves.

    When someone doesn't agree with you, are you free to allow God to work? Do you find yourself strategizing to get others to act in such a way as to make you look good? Do you waste hours of time worrying about the non-conformists instead of trusting God to take care of them and lead them His way in His time? Please consider this: if someone has the power to make you miserable or distract you from loving, then you gave them such power by setting them up as a lord in your life. You've made them an idol. Do feel a need to express "grief" to others about those who you view to have rejected you? In reality they may have cut off the relationship because they can't escape the controlling spirit any other way. Could you have communicated to them that it is either "your way or the highway"? If so, you're in bondage and seeking to enslave them also.

Is the Holy Spirit Lord in parent and young adult relationships?

    Perhaps the area where the most destruction occurs is between Standard Bearing parents and Standard Bearing young adults (I'm thinking of young people ages sixteen and above). In many cases, young adults reject the standards of their parents because they feel controlled and are self-ambitious. There's another way of looking at this: young adults reject their parents because they (the parents) won't accept their (the young adult) standards! It's just another form of Standard Bearing. These young adults are guilty of the same thing for which they condemn their parents. If you are one of these young adults, let me ask you a question. Why have you adopted the standards that you have? You'll probably find that it is to be accepted and significant to someone whose approval you value more than your parents. You are no different than they are.

    Have you considered the reason you react to your parents? If indeed they are Standard Bearers, you can tell they have adopted those standards to be accepted by their peers. You have observed that they are more concerned about how they appear to others than to God. You also know that the fear, shame, and rejection that come down on you can't be from God. You know they don't trust God with you, but instead feel responsible to conform you into their image. Have you reacted with the same manipulative tools of fear, shame, and rejection? If you are bitter, hateful, and can't stand them, then you are in bondage to the same curse, the curse of the Standard Bearers. 

    As a young adult, created by God, you are responsible for loving your parents just as they are responsible to love you. That love should be shown as you speak with them, submit to them (if you are still living in the home), and encourage them to walk as the Holy Spirit leads them to walk. If the way they want you to live is different than you wish to live, then recognize that the loving thing to do if you are still at home is to conform to their standards as long as they are providing for you.

    If you have established your own home and are providing for yourself, then you are responsible to follow the Holy Spirit. You should not condemn them if they are seeking to walk according to the guidance of the Holy Spirit. Respect them for that commitment. It is the expression of Jesus Christ in them and to you. Such parents are True Image Bearers. Your response to them is your response also to Jesus.

    However, if your parents have adopted standards based on the fear of man or gaining the approval of their peers, then realize they are no different than you if you also seek approval from your peers. To condemn them is to condemn yourself. The correct response isn't to react to them and determine to live your life as you wish. Just as they have need to repent and surrender to the Lordship of the Holy Spirit in their lives, so do you. Don't you need to ask their forgiveness for judging them, bringing them shame, hurting their name by your selfishness, expressing bitterness through your words and actions, and for not loving them with the love of Jesus Christ?

    The pathway to freedom for you is the same as your parents: Repent of living for yourself and surrender to the Holy Spirit as Lord. Being motivated out of love must become your standard motivation if you are to have confidence before God and truly be free. I encourage you to follow the Holy Spirit's guidance in responding to your parents. Make an appeal to them when they try to control your life and make your decisions for you by thanking them for their desire to help you and bless you. Ask if they would please allow you to pray and seek God's will. Ask them if they would accept you and love you if you chose to do a task differently than they would do it or came to a different application of the Bible. Perhaps asking them to show you in Scripture why they do what they do might be honorable if done with a sincere desire to find God's will.

    For young adults who are still at home, God clearly calls you to submit yourself to your parents as long as they are not commanding you to do evil and are living according to God's Word. If they are Standard Bearers, then God has called you to love and submit yourself to them in His power, filled with His Spirit. The day will come when you will have the responsibility for all of your decisions in life before the Lord. While they are providing for you, God's Word clearly teaches that the way for you to be free and filled with the Holy Spirit is to submit to your parents in the Lord (Ephesians 6:1-4).

    However, if you have the Holy Spirit living in you, and are providing for yourself, and have been granted the responsibility of living away from home, then your allegiance to the Holy Spirit is the priority relationship. If your parents demand that you conform to their standards of living and they cannot show how the action or standard is an expression of love for others and based on clear explicit scriptures, then God may be calling you to take a stand for the truth in love. If they react to your loving and respectful questions about their standards and actions and demand unquestioning obedience, then you are faced with a very difficult decision. To love Christ, you cannot allow them to be lord of your life. If they demand to be lord, then tragically they have made the decision for you: you must avoid the relationship�in love. Share with them that you want to have a good relationship with them. If they will repent of trying to control your life and trust God with you, then you are ready and willing to restore fellowship. But if they cannot trust God with you and allow the Holy Spirit to be Lord in your life, then unfortunately, there's no way for the relationship to be healthy and glorifying to God. 

    If you are a parent and the Holy Spirit lives in you, then you should want your young adults to live by the Spirit, not by your decisions. However, if they are not born again and have not submitted themselves to the Holy Spirit's lordship, then their relationship with God is way more important than their conforming to your standards on certain issues. In love, your responsibility is to lead them to God and clearly explain how your decisions are based on God's Word and your relationship with the Holy Spirit. You should never discourage their questioning your decisions or motives because you should be able to show that they are biblical and motivated out of love for God and others rather than the approval of men. If they cannot submit themselves to God's leading through you, then you need to ask yourself where you have lost their hearts. Has your heart been turned to your reputation and appearance before others more than to them?

    I encourage you to not make a big deal of issues if you've lost the heart of your young adult. Instead, express your concern for their relationship with God. Ask them if you've done anything to hurt them or compromised your integrity before them. Remember, when you ask this question, be determined not to defend yourself. I recommend listening to "Heart Maintenance" from the Equipping Men series for suggestions on what to do when you've lost your child's heart. The last six chapters of my book "Anchored in Christ: The Solid Rock in the Storms of Life" will also be helpful in guiding you and your young adult in finding places of repentance which will lead to restoration with God and with each other. Until you've taken these steps, asking them to leave the home or rejecting them would be premature and unloving.

    Whether you are a parent or a young adult, you must be careful to be free from any bitterness and unforgiveness in your own hearts. Keep the door open by repeated, periodic attempts to restore the relationship. Have you experienced forgiveness at the throne of grace through the blood of Jesus Christ? If you have, then just like you've confessed your own sins and received forgiveness through the blood of the Lamb, be consistent and take the sins of your parents and other Standard Bearers to the cross. Continually leave them there to be dealt with by God. You are not responsible to bring justice; you can trust God to do that. You don't have be feel that you are responsible to have their sins exposed (that would be like them, and remember, you condemn such action). Trust God to deal with them as you would want them to trust God to deal with you�with grace and mercy.

Repentance leads to restoration

    Jesus died to set us free from idolatry and bondage. If you wish to be a True Image Bearer, then you should love everyone and encourage them to live by the Holy Spirit's guidance, even those who don't hold the same position on "important" issues. Release control of their lives! Step out of the seat of judgment!

    If you have demanded that anyone conform to your standards on some or all of the issues listed above and have judged them, gossiped about them, or rejected them; then humble yourself and confess that you have sinned against God and them by making your standards more important than loving them. Ask forgiveness from those you have not loved with the love of Jesus Christ. If you had loved them with the love of Jesus, the only thing you would have been concerned about was their following the Holy Spirit as best they know.

    If you find that you are under the control of Standard Bearers, then you also need to be liberated. If you feel suspicious or judgmental around people, then you have been infected with their bondage. You are not free to love others if you know it will be censored or condemned by your "lord", the Standard Bearer whose approval you need. You know this is true, because if this is the case with you, you are afraid to tell them you disagree with them! Let's get truthful: are you more concerned about gaining someone's approval and significance than expressing the love of Jesus Christ to those who have been slandered and rejected by a Standard Bearer?

    Furthermore, are there some issues in which you differ with them, but are afraid of offending them? If they can be offended because you differ with them on external issues, then know that they are Standard Bearers. For instance, if you know your relationship with them would suffer if you were gracious to someone they are clearly snubbing, then unfortunately, you are not free. Or, if the Holy Spirit leads you to avoid having children out of love for your wife, concern for her health, or responsibility to love and train the children God has given you, then make sure you do not subject yourself to fear when a Standard Bearer asks why you're not pregnant. If a Standard Bearer gives you the "once over" look, then that's their problem, not yours. Also, be careful to stay free of judging them. If they feel compelled to live a certain way that varies from your lifestyle and convictions, then trust God is doing a different thing in them. Then you will be free! You're free because the Holy Spirit is Lord instead of them, and you trust the Holy Spirit to be Lord of them also.

What a difference humility and love make!

    It takes humility to release your expectations and demands of other people, and it is the love of Jesus that jealously desires that others find their satisfaction and fullness in Christ rather than in a relationship with you on the basis of keeping certain standards of behavior. It is the more mature person who can humble himself, take on the responsibility for his offenses in a relationship, and ask forgiveness. It is the more spiritually mature person who sees that loving others for Jesus' sake is the pathway to freedom and glory to God. Do you need to humble yourself, ask forgiveness, and purpose to express the love of Jesus? Why not test the Lord and see what a difference humility and love can make in any relationship that has been damaged by the curse? If you will humble yourself before God and receive the people God places in your life as gifts from God to love as they are, you will experience His love more deeply. Furthermore, such love will be expressed more fully for the glory of God. That's freedom!

Upcoming Father/Son Weekends - Make Reservations Now!

April 11-13
Father/Son Retreat at Camp Maranatha
Danielsville, GA
Contact: Joseph Dooley, doocrew@windstream.net

October 3-5
Good Tidings Fellowship Camp
Cornwallville, NY
http://www.goodtidingsfellowship.com
mike@goodtidingsfellowship.com
518-239-4178

October 30-Nov. 2
Father/Son Campout 2008
Walnut Point State Park, Oakland, IL
http://www.fathersoncamp.org

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            Norm Wakefield
            Elijah Ministries
            P.O. Box 377
            Bulverde, Texas 78163
            830.980.5606
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02.08

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