Chariot of Fire -13-

Becoming a Relational Husband and Father - Part 5

I hope you had a wonderful, relational Christmas and New Year's season with your family. These past weeks offered many special opportunities for creating memories and establishing traditions. Recently, a father remarked that his memories of this season of the year were marked with hours spent sitting in front of the TV watching sports. He lamented the fact that very little interaction of real substance took place between family members. It was encouraging to hear how the Lord has turned his heart toward his children, and he has a greater vision for those family times together than the previous generation of fathers. The activities he recounted were very relational, and I'm sure his wife and children were blessed.

We have been considering the importance of men becoming relational husbands and fathers for the past four months in The Chariot. This month, we'll conclude our focus on this topic as we contemplate how relating to our wives and children makes the gospel more relevant. In my opinion, this is the most important and compelling encouragement for us to become more relational.

Incarnate the gospel

When we fathers step out of our work-world, home care responsibilities, and hobbies to demonstrate a longing for personal relationship which the gospel promises, we are incarnating the gospel. It is our calling by God to represent Jesus Christ to our wives and to manifest God, the Father, to our children. God's vision for us is to rise to our calling as husbands and fathers to give our family members a first-hand, in-the-flesh experience in relationship that prepares them for the gospel.

The gospel promises relationship

God has called us, as husbands, to exemplify the love of Christ for His Bride -- a love that longs to share life together. Ephesians 5:25 commands husbands who claim the name of the Lord Jesus: "Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her." How has Christ loved the church?
We learn from the Apostle Paul's teaching that Jesus cleansed her by washing her with the Word. He nourished and cherished her as an example to us of how we're to love our wives. Presenting his "wife" to Himself in all her glory indicated his longing for relationship without spot or wrinkle. Such is our calling as husbands, to exemplify the love of Christ -- a love that longs to share life together without defect or blemish.

Words such as "nourish" and "cherish" are usually not "guy-type" words, are they? But those expressions are the words the Holy Spirit used to communicate the dynamics of our relationship with our wives. When you relate to your wife by nourishing her and cherishing her, you are being relational. Furthermore, (and more importantly), she's experiencing the reality of the gospel in her life through a flesh and blood relationship. It makes the gospel more believable and wonderful.

God has called us, as fathers, also to prepare the way of the Lord by demonstrating the heart of God as a father to our children. God's father-heart rejoices in sharing all that He has and is with us, His children. It may also be characterized as a heart longing to be with His children, to give them vision for life, and to fill them with meaning and purpose. When we express such a heart-longing for our children by teaching them what God has taught us, by sharing with them the material blessings He has given us, by seeking their companionship, and by sharing our hearts with them, we're making the gospel relevant to their lives. It prepares the way for the Lord!

The Gospel of Luke recorded this comment about John the Baptist's ministry to Israel: "And it is he who will go as a forerunner before Him in the spirit and power of Elijah, to turn the hearts of the fathers back to the children, and the disobedient to the attitude of the righteous; so as to make ready a people prepared for the Lord" (Luke 1:17). Men, you are the forerunners for your children. If your heart is turned to them and you are relational, then they will be prepared to understand and appreciate when God's heart turns to them and initiates relationship with them. We want our wives and children both to be able to stand before God and to give glory to Him for how they experienced the love of God, the Father, and the Lord Jesus Christ through us. What a glorious testimony and purpose in life! Let's provide for them a gospel demonstration that they can feel, touch, and to which they can relate.

Demonstrate relationship with God

Blessed are the wife and children who see their husband and father relating to God freely and unashamedly. Through their observation of your relationship with God, they realize that knowing God is more than religion and going to church to impress people. As they are recipients of a "perfected love" -- a love that has completed its course from God, the Father, through the Lord Jesus, through you-they cannot deny the reality and necessity of knowing and loving Jesus Christ.

They need to hear us pray, watch us respond to God in everyday situations, and enter into worship with us as we worship Jesus with all of our heart, soul, minds, and strength. As we live a testimony of our hearts being turned to God above everything else, they are encouraged to do the same. When we allow God's words to guide our thinking and our actions with our family, we're being a relational husbands and fathers.

One of the most important truths we can pass on to the next generation is that our relating to them is because of our relationship with God. It is a calling by God! Our hearts are turned to our wives and children because God has called us to them. With regard to our children, if this truth can be so engrained in our minds that we demonstrate it over and over again, they will hopefully understand their calling when they become parents. Additionally, we have the confidence that God will keep their hearts turned toward us. Otherwise, we will lose the hearts of our children.

How can these things happen?

May I encourage you first to think about these things as gospel realities? What a motivation it is when we see the love of our Heavenly Father and our Savior, Jesus Christ, in this way. Consider how relational He is to you! Secondly, realize the Holy Spirit is the Spirit of the Father and the Son Whom they have given to us that we might express the same qualities of relationship in our lives. Pour out your heart to God and long for relationship with Him, His filling, and His anointing for this ministry to your wives and children. Lastly, practice, practice, practice looking to God as your source of strength, wisdom, and love. We can't cry out enough to God for these things, can we? Such is the expression of our humility before God to abide in Him and depend upon His life in us to do what He requires of us for His glory.

I hope these articles these past few months have given you some nudging toward becoming more relational as husbands and fathers. If they have been a blessing to you, may I ask you to consider sending them to friends or family members whom you know could benefit from them? The Spirit of Elijah Ministries is a dynamic ministry that depends upon each of us being agents of blessing to others as the Spirit of Elijah works in our lives. May the grace of God abound in your hearts, lives, and families as you apply the truth of God's Word.

South Korea Report

If you joined us in prayer for this ministry opportunity, you were a part of a mission endeavor that will impact thousands of families and an untold number of nations. The total impact of the time in Seoul, South Korea, won't be known for decades perhaps. However, there were a number of immediate indicators that God was working in a powerful way through Global Learning Strategies, Touch Ministries of South Korea, and Elijah Ministries. Here are just a few:

* Everything was a first for the Korean believers. Every message in itself was a block laid in the foundation of a new way of life and a vision for the family.
* Many pastors and couples testified of a new vision for life and family relationships.
* Touch Ministries, headed by Dr. Paul Jeong, will increase its staff from 10 to 50 members this year to accomplish the establishing of home schooling and new home church plants throughout Korea and China.
* Touch Ministries will be reorienting the entire ministry with a vision to establish home churches, home schooling, and the messages of turning the hearts of men to their wives and children.
* Pastors who are working with thousands of people will be sharing the vision of fathers' hearts being turned to their children for the sake of the gospel and the next generation.
* The home school movement was initiated with the men/fathers being the primary vision casters and developers.
* I received over 20 invitations from pastors to return and teach in their churches.

Norm Wakefield
Elijah Ministries
PO 377
Bulverde, Texas 78163
www.spiritofelijah.com