Chariot of Fire - 2004.07 - The Calling Out of a Son

The Day the Son Came Out

"Micah, the time has come. Today's the day," I announce with beaming face.

"The day for what? What do you mean, Dad?"

"The time has come for you to be called out into manhood. I'll pick you up between 2:30 and 3:00, and we'll talk about it."

With a hug and smile of anticipation I head off to work. For almost a year, the excitement about the impact this event will have in the life of my son thrilled my imagination and turned my heart toward him. According to Gordon Dalbey, author of two popular books on this subject, only two or three percent of my generation of men were assisted in the transition from boyhood to manhood. An acute awareness of my son's approach to this new season in life fostered a deep concern - that's not going to happen to Micah.

I muse over the fact that today's encounter marks the beginning of an adventure into manhood for both of us. I sense the presence of my heavenly Father as the revelation comes that perhaps in a small way I'm feeling some of the excitement He had one day at the river Jordan almost 2000 years ago when He "called out" His Son to the source of His identity. "Thou art My beloved Son, in Thee I am well-pleased." I hope today has the same impact on Micah as that day did on Jesus. His identity as the Son of God was His source of faith and power.

Promptly at 2:30 that afternoon, my office phone rings. "Dad, when are you going to pick me up?"

"In a little while, son." – a typical fatherly response.

Fifteen minutes later the phone rings again. "Dad, how's it going? Uh, I don't want to rush you if you have important things to do."

"I'll be right there, Micah."

On the way to pick him up, I breathe a prayer to our heavenly Father who called me out into manhood. "How shall I call Micah out, Father? I feel powerless in fulfilling my responsibility; please guide me." I had planned to take Micah to the beach, but a strong impression insisted the city park was to be the sight of his baptism into early manhood.

"Where are we going, Dad?" Micah queries as he climbs into the car. "What are we going to do?"

"I think we'll go over to Central Park and take a walk together. How's that sound?" He grins and agrees he would enjoy it. I begin to set the stage for our time together with a little history. My observation was that my dad's generation of men measured a man by his material success. Also, "real" men work hard, are honest, and don't cry. As I assessed it, fathers in the Forties through the Sixties had their hearts in their work. Not that they didn't love their children, but in their minds, providing material things was love. I believe they did the best they knew with what they were given. Gratitude and honor, not blame is due such fathers.

But, in general, my peers have chased the dollar and what it can buy with more intensity and devotion than our dads' generation. Many men are left empty, searching, in debt, and relationally devastated. I want something different for my children and grandchildren. Micah needs a vision for manhood to call him out of his natural independence and pride. He must be led to the Source of Jesus' and my manhood – a task beyond my natural ability. This determines my success as a man and father. The excitement within me as we arrive at the park comes from the realization I'm about my Father's business. I have His assistance.

With anticipation growing, we get out of the car and with my arm around my son's shoulder, we make our way along a bike and exercise trail. The park, splashed with multi-greened beauty and enveloped in the pungent scent of eucalyptus, provides a wonderful stage. A series of chin-up bars catches my attention, and a Voice inside guides, "Here's a demonstration about life."

"Micah, can you do a chin-up at this four foot bar?" He easily pulls himself up with a grin. "Okay, how about this one?" as I point to a bar higher than I could reach without jumping. His furrowed brow and tightened lips indicates he recognizes the challenge. "Come on; give it a try."

After a studious pause, he pulls himself up on top of the lower bar, stretches over to the higher one, swings down, and then pulls himself up. Face aglow with the joy of accomplishment, he drops to the ground. Mission accomplished.

"Way to go! Which one was easier?" I knowingly query.

Pointing to the low bar, "This one."

"Which one made you feel best about yourself?"

"The taller one; it was harder."

"So what does this teach you, Micah?"

With a questioning tone, "Harder things are better for you?"

"In this case, you're right, and this illustrates life. Micah, boyhood is like the low bar. It's an easy time in life. What do kids like to do most?"

Without hesitation, "Play!" His answers encourage me as I realize our conversation is superintended by our Father.

"You're right; playing is fine for the season of boyhood. That's easy; just like reaching the low bar. But if you never quit playing and always waited on others to serve you, you would remain in boyhood all your life. Everywhere I look, I see boys in men's bodies. Although they appear to be men, they're still playing like boys – their toys are just bigger and more expensive. It's the easy way to live, but they don't feel good about themselves."

Micah's interest and understanding shows on his face. I continue. "Men who haven't been called out may also hurt those around them because they don't know any better than to live for themselves – like they did when they were kids. Maybe like they saw their dads live. Many feel incomplete; that's why they're searching. Micah, God has a better plan for you. It's time for you to enter a new season in life – young manhood."

I lift Micah to the high bar. "Dad, what are you doing?"

"I'll help you reach manhood. Then the day will come when I'll let you go." Irelease my grip on his legs. "When I do, you'll be a man God can use. Then you do the same thing to your sons. That will mark another season in your life. We're both entering a new season in our lives right now. It's pretty exciting, isn't it?'

As Micah drops to the ground, our eyes meet. "Yeah, but it's a little scary. I don't know if I'm ready."

Both of us are looking at the high bar which must be reached. It looks impossible from our vantage points – unattainable. I think we both feel inadequate and a little, no, a LOT fearful. "Let's walk, Micah."

We walk, break sticks into little pieces, drink in the beauty of our surroundings, and discuss more of what this new season entails. He listens intently as I mention he will meet with the men of the church each week instead of children's classes – his peers can't teach him how to be a man. With us he'll learn how to face trials in life, relate to other men, and witness a living faith. Micah will be given a vision for serving his sisters, his mom, younger children, and ultimately his own family. He will learn the greatest joy in life is to love and live for a cause outside of himself. This season of young manhood will be filled with daily projects developing the essential character qualities needed for manhood: humility, meekness, dependability, responsibility, submission and obedience, self-control, self-discipline, and others.

"Micah, let's stop over here at this table for a minute or so. I think I hear the Father calling."

"What do you mean?"

"I think God wants me to bring you to Him in prayer. He has something to say to you today. I don't know when or how He'll speak, but you'll know it when it happens." Once seated, with gratefulness, I take my son in prayer to the God of his father, that he might know the Source of true manhood. Micah also expresses his thoughts and gratitude to God for what is taking place.

After the, "Amen", I encourage Micah.  "Don't be afraid to ask questions and tell me what you feel in the days and years to come. It's important we stay close."

"Okay."

"Come on, let's head out."

Like I want him to accompany me in life, he walks by my side to the car. The conversation turns to lighter things, necessary trivia upon which relationships between fathers and sons are built. There's only so much one can take at a time.

That evening as Micah went to bed; I confess to him, "I didn't know exactly what we were going to do at the park this afternoon."

"I thought you had it all planned, Dad."

"Nope, the heavenly Father gave it to me as we were walking through the park. What does that mean to you?"

After a moment's hesitation a smile dawned. "It means God cares for me, and He did it for me – it wasn't you!"

The Father called. Such was the beginning of a wonderful adventure for both of us. Now my mind turns to other fathers and sons. A father can't call his son into manhood without having first been "called out" himself by the heavenly Father. Until that time, a man lives for himself and thinks his independence exemplifies his manhood. Because of the absence of this "calling out" ritual, the fact God has "called His children out" by giving them repentance and faith in Christ may be overlooked. Consequently, the relationships Jesus had with His Father fail to have much significance to many. Jesus' identity and power were derived from Him, Who gave him His name. Through Jesus Christ, God has revealed the mantle of true manhood rests on those who live for a cause outside themselves, who conquer their own lusts in order to give to others, and who demonstrate humility and meekness – not in their own strength, but in God's strength.

The encounter in the park with Micah laid the foundation for his training, development, and our relationship far beyond my imaginations. We respect, love, and enjoy one another because we know we are in our places according to God's design.

The moment Micah realized the heavenly Father had personally planned his "calling out" will forever be etched in my memory – his, too, I hope. Two smiles. Some tears. One son hugged another son goodnight. The Father smiled and called – it was the day the sons came out.

Other sons wait in the darkness of boyhood, some 12, some 16, some 40 – watching, searching, hoping, wondering – "Dad, where are you? Am I a man yet?"

"Shh. Listen, son. Do you hear Him calling?"

Micah did hear the call.  It's now eleven years since he and I took that walk in the park and made his preparation for manhood official. As he and I were waiting to enter the auditorium where he was to take his lovely bride, Holly, Micah turned to me and said, "Dad, I want you to walk beside me, not behind me, when we walk in."  I was so touched and honored. It was the official culmination of the season of preparation for manhood. We have been blessed by God's mercies and grace! Micah and I are aware we don't deserve such blessing. Perhaps you feel the same way. We wish to testify to the faithfulness of God to those whose hearts are turned toward Him and to fathers and sons whose hearts are turned toward each other. I hope this encourages you to trust in the Lord and apply the means of grace God gives us in His Word.